Jay’s memorial was held at the Unitarian Universalist Society of River Falls on July 20, 2024. Visitation was from 12 – 3:30 pm with the service at 4:00 followed by a meal, then an informal gathering at Rush River Brewing in River Falls. Many people we haven’t seen at UUSRF in a long time came to honor Jay. Others who wanted to come had last minute issues that kept them away.
The program included these speakers:
Rev Ted Tollefson, Welcome
Don Leake, UUSRF Board Member
Lynn Huiskamp, spouse
Andy Ruff, early days 3M coworker and friend
Jayne Esch, younger daughter of Jay
Ellen Esch, older daughter of Jay
Maureen Ash, friend of Jay and family
Of course we ended with our UUSRF closing words.
Maureen’s poem and the song Lyrics that Jayne read are included under UUSRF Reports and Announcements.
To accommodate the number of people, a tent provided space outside in addition to the space inside. For the service, 147 were seated inside. It is hard to find words to express what that service felt like. So many emotions: the grief at such a tragic loss, the joy of knowing Jay and sharing some small part of his life and the strength of communities coming together for Jay.
In lieu of flowers, memorials can be made to Madeline Island Wilderness Foundation, Forward: River Falls Public School Education Foundation, or Marbleseed in support of local farming systems.
Remembering Jay Esch
You can read Jay’s full obituary, watch the slide show and see the video of the service here: https://bakken-young.com/jay-esch-06-11-2024/
Maureen’s poem from Jay’s service:
Even so,
late at night the big lake weeps.
So much sorrow
she’s received through the rivers and creeks,
the overflows and rills. They come to her
urgently, dashed among rocks, their beauty
a sob we all have felt,
watching wide-eyed at the edge,
and they crash it all
into the lake’s blue-green body–her cool
hands taking theirs, she hears their gabbled stories,
holds the flat of her cheek to theirs
till their trembling eases to match her long swells,
too broad to break.
Or they come unremarked, the seeps and small creeks
unnoticed but by her–
kneeling on sand she
dabs at their tears, holds their gaze, leads
them from the glinting shallows
into the deep grace of her white-capped heart.
Sorrow comes to the lake, who loves it—
as must we—
into beauty,
into the scathing and painful cut
of horizon, that silvery edge holding up
a clouded sky, holding down
a path of light-scribbled water;
the lake takes the wounded rivers– jagged, stricken,
sad beyond measure–
in her arms, wills them
to beauty that has neither forgotten nor adjusted,
just cooled, rested, joined
with others in this large thing, larger
than the lake, this enormous thing
the lake knows, which is love.
Maureen Ash
Also from Jay’s service:
Jayne mentioned Margo Price, a musician her dad liked and read the lyrics of this song to us.
If you close your eyes, you can travel through time
Just pick anywhere that you like in your mind
Runnin’ through the woods with a childhood dog
A hand that you held, the hand that you lost
So I close my eyes and I walk with you
But the trouble with time is you can take a wrong step
End up somewhere you tried to forget
Broken bone or a heart that’s bruised
Sometimes I’ll walk through the bad just to walk with you
So I close my eyes and I walk too far
Turn around and wonder where you are
So I woke up this mornin’ and I got out of bed
Tripped on my pants and fell on my head
Found myself in 1992
‘Cause if I just keep walkin’, one day I’ll find you.